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Transformations: growth and change in adult life

Author: Gould, Roger L Series: Touchstone book Publisher: Simon and Schuster, 1979.Edition: 1st Touchstone edLanguage: EnglishDescription: 343 p ; 21 cm.ISBN: 0671250663Type of document: BookNote: Includes index
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Item type Current location Collection Call number Status Date due
Book Doriot Library
Main Collection
Print BF724.5 .G68 1979
(Browse shelf)

Includes index


Transformations Growth and Change in Adult Life Introduction 9 Section I: l Childhood Consciousness vs. Adult Consciousness 17 1. Origins of Childhood Demons 22 2. Protective Devices: A Childhood Armor and Adult Barrier 26 Omnipotent Thoughts/Fantasies 26 Omnipotence of Parents 28 3. Mastery: An Adult Opportunity and Childhood Impossibility 30 The Concept of Fairness 30 The Rule of Necessary Limitations 30 The Seven-Step Inner Dialogue for Mastering Childhood Demons 31 37 The Evolution of Adult Consciousness: 16-50 4. The Four Major False Assumptions Illusory Safety to Adult Self 39 39 TRANSFORMATIONS 43 Section II: 16-22: Leaving Our Parents' World Major False Assumption: "I'll always belong to my parents and 43 believe in their world." 47 Five Component Assumptions 1. Component Assumption 1: "If I get any more independent, it 49 will be a disaster." 2. Component Assumption 2: "I can see the world only through 57 my parents' assumptions." "Only my parents can guarantee 3. Component Assumption 3: my safety." 61 4. Component Assumption 4: "My parents must be my only family." 62 5. Component Assumption 5: "I don't own my own body." 64 Romance and Expectations Identity Formation 67 66 71 Section III: 22-28: I'm Nobody's Baby Now Major False Assumption: "Doing things my parents' way, with willpower and perseverance, will bring results. But if I become too frustrated, confused or tired or am simply unable to cope, 71 they will step in and show me the right way." Denial of Our New Adulthood Four Component Assumptions 74 76 1. Component Assumption 1: "Rewards will come automatically if we do what we're supposed to do." Life Dreams 78 Forming a Life Out of Our Talents 81 77 2. Component Assumption 2: "There is only one right way to do things." 88 90 New Rules with New Roles Masculine/Feminine 93 97 Career Outside the Home Domestic Career 98 Having a Child: Effects on Images of Maleness and Femaleness 99 CONTENTS 3. Component Assumption 3: "My loved ones can do for me 108 what I haven't been able to do for myself." Coupling 108 Forming the Conspiracy 109 Conspiracy and Forms of Coupling 119 Single Life 120 Living Together/Marriage 120 The Two-Career Marriage Without Children 121 The Two-Career Marriage with Children 127 The Traditional Marriage 130 4. Component Assumption 4: "Rationality, commitment and 137 effort will always prevail over all other forces." Social Class 148 153 Section IV: 28-34: Opening Up to What's Inside Major False Assumption: "Life is simple and controllable. There are no significant coexisting contradictory forces within me." 153 Breaking the Outdated Contract of the Twenties Making a New Contract 160 Four Component Assumptions 164 159 1. Component Assumption 1: "What I know intellectually, I know emotionally." 165 The Inner Dialectic 165 Discovering the Truth of Cliches Work in the Thirties 172 170 2. Component Assumption 2: "I am not like my parents in ways I don't want to be." 184 3. Component Assumption 3: "I can see the reality of those close to me quite clearly." 193 193 Marriage and Demonic Images Shifting Conspiratorial Compacts 199 4. Component Assumption 4: "Threats to my security aren't real." 205 Divorce: Breaking Up a Family 207 Who's the Enemy? The Critical Question for Divorce Aftermath of Divorce 213 210 Section V: 35-45: Mid-Life Decade Major False Assumption: "There is no evil or death in the world. The sinister has been destroyed." 217 Five Component Assumptions 219 1. Component Assumption 1: "The illusion of safety can last forever." 220 The Loss of the Intact Family 220 Parents: Power Play in Three Generations 222 Children 223 2. Component Assumption 2: " Death can't happen to me or my loved ones." 226 The Illness or Death of a Parent 226 Other Messages About Death 229 The Male Response to Death 229 Work as a Protective Device 236 Transformation of the Meaning of Work for Men 241 3. Component Assumption 3: "It is impossible to live without a protector." (Women) 246 Taking Back the Power 247 Career Development for Women Executives 263 4. Component Assumption 4: "There is no life beyond this family." 267 Renegotiation of Sex in Marriage 267 Monogamy Is a Solution to the Oedipal Conflict 271 Questioning the Rules About Infidelity 275 Engaging the Change Process 277 Conspiracies Must Be Broken 279 Divorce as a Casualty of the Process 291 Living with the Conspiracies Unchanged 292 5. Component Assumption 5: "I am an innocent." 294 Our Darker, Mysterious Center 294 Section VI: The End of an Era: Beyond Mid-Life "The life of inner-directedness finally prevails: I own myself." 309 CONTENTS Section VII: Individual Growth and Its Effect on Social Issues: Marriage, Careers and Women's Liberation 321 323 Marriage 325 Careers Our Response to Change 327 Women's Liberation 331 Epilogue 335 Index 337

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